Sometimes I have to pinch myself and wonder, “How the heck did I get here?!”

Me, Roots of Empathy Founder Mary Gordon, Research Professor Dr. Stuart Shanker

Tuesday night I had the pleasure of moderating an event called “Science, Self-Regulation and Citizenry,” at Town Hall in Seattle. Roots of Empathy Founder Mary Gordon and York University Research Professor Dr. Stuart Shanker shared with the audience of 500 the importance of teaching empathy and self regulation in young children. I was so captivated I almost forgot I was in charge of keeping everyone on time!

What is Roots of Empathy?

Roots of Empathy is a program that uses the parent-infant connection to build empathy in elementary school children. Over a school year students interact with a mom and baby. Roots of Empathy instructors guide the children as they observe the relationship between baby and parent, understanding the baby’s intentions and emotions. Through this model of experiential learning, the baby is the “teacher” and a catalyst, helping children identify and reflect on their own feelings and the feelings of others. It’s quite amazing to see:

Courtesy: Roots of Empathy

What is Self-Regulation?

In simple terms, self-regulation is the ability to stay calm, focused and alert. The better a child can stay calmly focused and alert, the better he/she can process various forms of information. Self-regulation nurtures the ability to cope with greater and greater challenges because it involves emotions, behavior, and – as the child grows older – thinking skills.

Dr. Shanker showed a video of children placed in a room alone with a marshmallow. The “teacher” says to each child, “When I return you can eat the marshmallow, but don’t touch it until I return.” A hidden camera showed just how difficult it was for some children to “self-regulate” and wait. Other children, while tempted were able to control their impulses, waiting until the teacher returned. Scientists have found those children who were able to self-regulate went on to do things like graduate from college and become productive citizens.

There are many reasons why kids have trouble self regulating, but I had a light bulb moment when Dr. Shanker said this:

Outside stressors in a child’s life can set them up for failure when it comes to self-regulating. Here are some common stressors for kids according to Dr. Shanker:

1. Television and video games. For young children TV and video games can over stimulate which in turn stresses the child.

2. Lack of sleep. Dr. Shanker says our kids get on average 2 hours less sleep than they did 30 years ago.

3. Poor nutrition

4. Not enough play. Children NEED play time. This includes mentally stimulating arts and crafts, imaginary play, games and OUTSIDE time. Most importantly according to Dr. Shanker, they need friends!

Here was the clincher for me: Our kids are often stressed because we are stressed. As I listened to him I thought about my own life. There is a string that connects me to my 4 year old daughter. I can feel it, I can see it in her actions. It hit me that even if I’m not SAYING or ACTING stressed, there is an energy field that is felt among those closest to us – and it affects them as it affects us. I left last night promising myself that I would not only work at reducing the stressors in my child’s life but also taking BETTER CARE OF MYSELF.

Want to help shape better human beings? I would encourage you to read Gordon and Dr. Shanker’s books -

Mary Gordon: Roots of Empathy

Dr. Stuart Shanker: Self-Regulation: Calm, Alert and Learning

Happy Reading!

I knew we were in for a good time at our Eco-Glamour event when I realized I couldn’t hear the music over the bevy of beautiful women conversing and laughing!

Eco-Glamour 2011

Dozens of women converged on Seattle’s Othello Park Station to learn green beauty tips from Lamik Beauty founder Kim Roxie, Good Hair Salon owner Danyale Thomas and Aloe For Mocha skincare developer Danna Johnston.

Kim Roxie giving a make over! She was a hit!

Danna from AloeForMocha had a captive audience!

A special thank you to our sponsor Kathy Johanson of O Wines. 100% of the proceeds from O Wines goes to scholarships for low income, high potential youth. For more info click here.

Our other wonderful sponsors:

• Original Moxie
• Karen’s Body Beautiful
• Pura Body Naturals
• Beautiful Curls
• Hayah Cosmetics
• Sof ‘N Free
• Bija Body
• CND

Blogger Cassidy Blackwell flew in from San Francisco for a little eco-glamour! (A few people actually asked if we were sisters!) Cassidy snapped some awesome pictures of the event – check them out here

Tonya & Cassidy

On behalf of me (Tonya), Sherrell Dorsey and Kim Roxie thank you for a wonderful night! Let’s do it again soon.

Seattle area naturalistas, join NewNaturalista for an evening of beauty with the leaders of eco-glam!

NewNaturalista Tonya Mosley, Natural Beauty Expert Sherrell Dorsey and Celebrity Makeup Artist Kim Roxie team up to host this eco-glam event showing you how to green up your beauty routine.

With special guests Good Hair Salon & AloeForMocha Skin care

Purchase tickets before October 31st at the discounted price of $10. Click here!

Naturalista Sophia Johnson contacted us about her newest venture “Pretty Young Naturals” – a YouTube channel geared towards natural preteens and teenagers. Here’s what Sophia has to say about it:

“I felt like they deserved a platform where they could support each other…I highly agree that it takes a village to raise a child and hopefully this show adds to that belief.”

Check it out!

NewNaturalista rewind:

It’s so easy to say right?

“Stop stressing!”

“Calm down!”

“Relax!”

I often hear myself saying all of these things to my husband, my friends, even my coworkers. But if they turned the tables and asked “How?” I’d be at a loss for words. The truth is I’m right along with them, stressed to the max, scouting out where I’ll be able to snag my next Starbucks fix.

Coach Takeyah Young

Washington, DC lifestyle coach Takeyah Young says so many women are like me, using other things like coffee or food to sooth those feelings of stress. “So many women don’t have a pause button, they just go, go, go. Food and coffee are just masking the problems, not solving them.” says Young.

Young says it’s crucial for women to find that “pause” button so that we can access what’s really going on in our lives. We often feel the need to take care of everyone else before tending to themselves.

Young offers these tried and true tips to keep your energy up and stress down:

Nourishment - “When you’re stressed you’re more likely to grab comfort foods to help you calm down.” This is often impulsive – grabbing sugary sweets from the work vending machine for instance. “Whole foods and whole grains are much more filling.” says Young. Plan ahead, taking snacks to work or while out shopping.

No time? Young says you need to make time. “I often ask my clients if this is a priority. Make an appointment with yourself. You know the saying in airplanes “Put your mask on before helping others?” That’s what you need to do for yourself.”

Exercise – If you don’t have an hour 5 times a week to exercise – carve out 15 minutes three times a week. “15 minutes is better than 0 minutes!” says Young. She also says, it’s time to change our mindsets around exercising. “It’s more than just losing weight. It helps us improve lung capacity, endurance and it really does lower stress levels.”

Unclutter – Get rid of it! “We often hold on to people, situations and material things that we think we need, but in reality they may be stressing you out.” Young says taking steps to clear your work desk or your home will do wonders for your state of mind. I have done this for our bedroom, designating it a “technology free” area, no tv, no phone, no computer. This has done wonders for my sleep.

Meditate – “Take 15 minutes in the morning or the evening to just sit.” It’s best to do this in a quiet environment free of the tv, computer, cell phone (and family.)

Create – “I worked with a woman who was an artist but she hadn’t done any artwork in 15 years, she was so busy tending to everyone else” says Young. “I told her to spend 15 minutes once a week painting.” For you that may mean writing, dancing, cooking, sewing – do something that inspires creativity.

Are you one of those people “addicted” to stress? You know the ones, your girl for instance who loves to tell you how busy she is no matter where she is or what she’s doing? Young says that type of behavior is usually associated with some type of fear of looking internally, they’re always pushing their energy externally. “Those types of people need to ask themselves “Why am I afraid of being fabulous?” Taking heed to these tips could help in not only reducing stress but being of better use to everyone else.”

Check out more on Takeyah here @: http://yrwc.coreconnectionlifestyle.com

Have you found the secret to managing stress? A massage, working out, vacation? Share your tips with us!

Here’s the YouTube description:
“Pale skin resembles beauty in Japan, but that no longer counts for everyone. Hina lives her life according to the ‘B-style’, or the ‘black lifestyle’. This includes going to the tanning salon regularly to become as dark as American hip hop artists.”

I recently ran out of my New Chapter Every Woman multivitamins and decided to restock. I headed out to my favorite health food store where the sales guy started talking to me about the virtues of the prenatal version – he said they’re good for my skin, hair and body – even if I’m not expecting.

I thought, “What the heck,” – even though the Perfect Prenatal costs $48 – the New Woman $37.

It wasn’t until I got home and compared the prenatal label with the regular multivitamin label and discovered…

Essentially they BOTH carry the EXACT same ingredients!

Are these vitamins the same except for price?

The PRENATAL has 32 vitamins and suggests you take 3 a day.

The EVERY WOMAN has 36 vitamins and suggests you take 2 a day.

Differences:

The PRENATAL has 600 mcg’s of FOLATE, EVERY WOMAN has 400 mcg.

The PRENATAL has what’s called an “Herbal Blend” made up of whole foods like blueberries, oats and prunes.

The EVERY WOMAN offers a slightly different herbal blend made up of stress, hormone, immune and digestive support.

Other than that they carry the EXACT same amount of everything else.

Folate is a very important part of pregnancy – but for those who are taking prenatals for longer hair or stronger nails, is the extra cost worth it?

Ever wonder the difference between multigrain and whole wheat? We wondered too!

Nutrition and public policy expert Marion Nestle recently tackled this question for the San Francisco Chronicle:

“Bread may be the staff of life, but you would never know it from reading the ingredient lists of most commercial products. Commercial breads are indeed much the same, with only a few differences that matter. To decide whether these have anything in them worth eating beyond their calories, you must inspect labels to make sure the first ingredient is whole grain, the total number of ingredients is small and devoid of unpronounceable chemicals, the fiber content is at least 2 grams per 1-ounce serving and the label says 100 percent whole wheat. Anything less is reconstituted white bread with occasional pieces of the original grain added back.

Then there is taste. Artisanal breads begin with just four ingredients - flour, water, salt and yeast – and turn them into loaves so crusty, chewy and fragrant that you cannot stop eating them. If they have some whole grain in them, even better. But handmade breads take forever to make and quickly go stale. Commercial bakeries deal with these problems by rushing the bread-making process and compensate for the loss of flavor by adding stabilizers, dough softeners and preservatives, and covering up the chemical tastes with sweeteners.

Breads with 30 or more ingredients are not unusual and violate my rules:

1. Never buy processed foods with more than five ingredients.

2. To compare breads, you must read labels. Bread companies do not make this easy. Some list the serving size as one slice, some two, and their weights can vary by twofold. When you convert everything to ounces, the nutrient content of supermarket breads looks much alike.  An ounce provides 70 to 80 calories, a trivial difference. The grain is what counts.

The Science:

Wheat grains have three components – the nutrient-rich bran and germ (“chaff”), and the endosperm, which is mostly starch and protein. One hundred percent whole wheat flour contains all three in the same proportion as in the original grains. White flour contains about 80 percent of the original components. It is mostly endosperm. Nutrients in the chaff are lost, so bakers are required to replace the five nutrients least likely to be available from other foods: niacin, riboflavin, thiamin, folic acid and iron. The others are not replaced. Neither is fiber. White flour contains only trace amounts of fiber.

Because high-fiber diets promote healthy bowel function and appear to reduce risks of heart disease and bowel cancers, dietary advice is to eat at least three daily servings of whole grains – 3 ounces of 100 percent whole wheat bread, for example. Food labeling rules do not make it easy to figure out fiber content. Some white breads list 1 gram of fiber, but watch out for serving size. It takes two slices to reach half a gram, which can be rounded up to 1.

Whole wheat bread with 2 grams of fiber per 1-ounce slice may have four times as much fiber as white breads. But watch out for breads listing 3 grams fiber; their slices may weigh nearly 2 ounces. In response to dietary advice, commercial bakeries have introduced whole grain breads acceptable to white bread eaters. These grind the wheat bran super fine, add extra dough conditioners to keep the bread soft, and toss in some bran or cracked wheat to make the bread look like whole wheat. Check for fiber grams and the position of chaff ingredients on the list. The further down the list, the smaller their contribution.

And where is the Food and Drug Administration to help with whole grains?

Alas, the FDA has not set rules for grain content. It permits manufacturers to make statements such as “100 percent whole grain” as long as the statement is true and does not imply that the food is an “excellent source.” The FDA’s nonbinding guidance says anything labeled “100 percent whole grain” must contain all three components of the original wheat seed, in proportion.

This regulatory gap permitted creation of the industry-sponsored Whole Grain Council. The council issues a certifying stamp in two forms: 100 percent and Basic. One hundred percent means all grains are whole. But the more prevalent Basic stamp allows refined grains and disproportionate additions of bran or germ.”

Marion Nestle is the author of “Food Politics,” “Safe Food,” “What to Eat” and “Pet Food Politics,” and is a professor in the nutrition, food studies and public health department at New York University. E-mail her at food@sfchronicle.com, and read her previous columns at sfgate.com/food.

1. Hugo Naturals French Lavender Body Wash $8. Pleasant and mostly natural with jojoba, vitamin E and coconut oil. Sold @ Whole Foods, Amazon

2. Simplers Organic Lavender Essential Oil 5ml $11. I use a drop or two in my weekly hair moisture concoction: Coconut oil, shea butter and lavender!

3. Lavender Luvies Spray $7. This spray is perfect for freshening up a room or your linen. Just the right amount of lavender!

4. Hugo Naturals French Lavender Dead Sea Salt Scrub $14. Nice pairing with Hugo Naturals Body Wash.

5. Lavender Luvies Satchels $4.55. The folks at Lavender Luvies used to have a storefront in Seattle and I’d visit at least once a month. These days you can order online or stop by their booth at Pike Place Market (a must visit for tourists.) These fragrant satchels are perfect car air fresheners!

6. Avalon Organics Nourishing Shampoo $8. I use this shampoo about once a month, it leaves my hair feeling clean and residue free. Awesome ingredients: Lavender essential oil, Beta Glucan & Vitamin E.

By Joe Sharkey, NYTimes

TIMERY SHANTE NANCE is an African-American woman who has a thing about her hair. “I don’t use chemicals or straighteners,” she said. “It’s just my natural texture, and I wear it in a normal-looking puff.”

Now she wonders, as some other black women evidently do, whether the Transportation Security Administration also has a thing about their hair. Ms. Nance is the second black woman I’m aware of within a month who says she was racially profiled when a T.S.A. officer insisted on publicly patting down her hair after she had already gone though a full-body scan without setting off any alarm.

See NewNaturalista’s original story here

Ms. Nance was departing from the airport in San Antonio in late July. After she passed through the body scanner, she said, a female T.S.A. screener told her to stand facing her possessions. “You’re good to go, but first I have to pat your hair,” the officer told her, she said.

“I’m like, pat my hair? O.K., I guess,” Ms. Nance said.

But it wasn’t O.K. Ms. Nance, who had been visiting her husband at the Air Force base where he is stationed, was deeply embarrassed as other passengers stared at her, “as if I’d done something wrong.”

She asked the screener why her hair was searched while others, including white women with ponytails or bushy hair, were simply waved through. “Is it just African-American women with natural hair who get the hair search?” she asked.

The screener said no, “but if you have certain kinds of ponytail or bun, you have to get your hair patted,” said Ms. Nance, who is 30.

Read more here