New Naturalista » Focus

Israeli Couscous Summer Salad

admin — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 15:33:29 +0000

By: Jessica Gillespie

Israeli Summer Salad

Ingredients:

1 1/4c Isreali couscous (whole grain or whole wheat varieties are great too
1c pearl tomatoes halves
1c sliced celery
1c chopped carrot
3tbsp extra virgin olive oil
small bunch of arugula
Juice of 1/2 organic lemon
Crushed raw almonds or chopped avocado or both
Salt & Pepper (to taste)
Dill and/or basil (optional)

Cooking instructions:

Cook couscous according to package directions. When finished, remove pot from stove and allow the pasta to cool in a seperate bowl. Add vegetables to the bowl and mix with a spoon. Chop dill and basil and toss into the bowl (optional). Enter chopped avocado here if you choose. Squeeze fresh lemon juice into the bowl. Top with crushed almonds (I used the bottom of a cup for crushing). Toss with 3 tablespoons of olive oil. Salt and pepper to taste.

Eat:

The plate looks pretty when you garnish with a thin slice of lemon and a small bunch of arugula. If it’s just you, do it anyway! You’ll be amazed at how a little extra effort on the presentation can transform the taste of the food and the gratitude you’ll for your meal. A fizzy glass of sparkling water with any season fruit essence would also be a revitalizing pairing for a low-key, Sunday dinner.

Check out some of Jessica’s other tasty recipes at: http://fork-fed.tumblr.com/

VIDEO: A Natural Revolution

admin — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 13:50:15 +0000

By: NewNaturalista

Black women, stop bashing your hair!

Celebrity stylist and natural hair guru Felicia Leatherwood says, when you bash your hair – you’re bashing yourself, your very being. Simmer on that for a moment!

The lovely Felicia sat down with NewNaturalista to talk about the virtues of our hair, why products are often a waste of money and her latest venture, “Loving My Natural Hair” workshops – coming to a town near you!

The Beginning of Something Great…

admin — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 20:10:23 +0000

Congrats to Imani – Bee Mine Products winner!

(Above montage from Bee Mine Facebook Fan Page)

By: NewNaturalista

At this very moment you can rest assured Bee Mine creators Tracey and Arthur Wilder are slaving over a series of blenders and organic concoctions – with a phone in one hand and a spatula in the other. Their lives are chaotic, moving faster than they could have ever imagined. They take turns going to sleep, and have turned their Florida kitchen into a mini factory, hand making and then shipping out their popular organic hair products at lightening speed.

It would be nice to say the Wilder’s were ready for this type of success, but that would be like wrapping this story into a nice little bow and that’s not how life often goes. “In the last few months, we have tripled in size,” says Tracey during our phone interview. “My mother has come down (from Birmingham) to help.” Tracey’s husband Arthur is also part of this interview, but goes in and out of the room to handle the rush of phone orders. He returns just as Tracey finishes her sentence. “We get about 50 orders a day,” he reveals. “But our quality of service has not gone down, in fact it’s gone up.”

Bee Mine Kitchen

This impossibility is indeed true for the Wilder’s, because when this flourishing hair care business was created 3 years ago, the idea was less about success and more about filling a void. They were tired of crummy customer service.

My Hair Was Literally On The Floor

I can tell right away that Tracey is self-effacing, but who can blame her? In the last five years, Tracey has endured more than most of us will ever experience. It’s as if her body has betrayed her. Since 2005, she’s had a severe stroke and been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, lupus and gastroparesis, a condition that affects the ability of the stomach to empty its contents.

“My hair started coming out because of the illnesses and my hair was literally on the floor,” says Tracey. “I started researching on how to grow hair back. I purchased a hair growth serum from another company and it was working!” But when Tracey called the hair serum company to ask for more product, she was met with horrible customer service. “My husband said, why don’t you make the product? So with that I went to the web, did research and started making the hair growth serum. The product seemed to work really well and as a result my hair started growing really fast. I started keeping a journal on Fotki, (viewers) saw my hair growth and I started gifting the products and telling others about it.”

A Business Is Born

Tracey continued throughout 2007 giving away her hair serum. The following year she added a new concoction to the mix, curly butter. “A family member contacted me and

Bee Mine

said she had high blood pressure and the ingredients made her have a headache, so I researched more and took the (offending) ingredients out. It really helped her and that’s how the special formulations came about,” explains Tracey. “Then my best friend was telling me she wanted something for her dry and split ends. I researched for her and then came up with the product “Luscious.” She tried it and said, Trac, you can’t sit on this, people need this!”

The idea of starting up a company was appealing, but Tracey was in pain and honestly didn’t know how to ramp up production. Her husband said, “We’ll find a way.”

The way came, in the form of a layoff. Arthur lost his job last fall. With nothing left to lose the couple ramped up production of their products, using $150 dollars to turn a hobby into a business. “When the business wasn’t making anything, I remember Arthur putting his check in for postage, but we kept going.” The Wilder’s continued to create, focusing on the needs of each client. “We make everything to order. If you can’t handle a certain ingredient we’ll take it out. We hand write every invoice. We want people to know we care.”

There’s some exhilarating and endearing about meeting people like the Wilder’s. It’s as if they’re on their way to something great and they’re winning the hearts of the devoted natural community. Reviewer’s call their products stellar and Tracey’s work ethic despite her illnesses, is phenomenal. But even Arthur and Tracey acknowledge they won’t be able to keep up with the demand forever. They hope to expand their staff, but keep the handmade model going. ”I think that’s what people are searching for now. We have no intentions of having Bee Mine go to some big commerical conglomerate. We want to keep that control over the customer service. That’s what important to us.”

Bee Mine is offering one lucky NewNaturalista reader a gift package which includes:

Luscious Balanced Cream Moisturizer 8 oz
Deja’s Hair Milk 8 oz
Avocado Cream Balanced Conditioner 8 oz
Bee U Ti FUL Moisturizing Dee Conditioner 16 oz

Just leave a comment below on how you’ve been able to overcome adversity and stumble on to something great! (Also, do you have awesome hair? Send your photos!) We’ll randomly pick a winner!

Headline Photo: Tracey and Arther Wilder

VIDEO: The Biz With Afrobella

admin — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 05:41:54 +0000

By: NewNaturalista

NewNaturalista talks with talented fashion and beauty blogger Afrobella about her hugely successful site, the journey that got her here – and her newest project Afrobella Radio!

Afrobella’s take on NewNaturalista’s 5 F’s

Fashion – Forward
Family – First
Fitness – My eternal struggle
Food – Delicious
Focus – uh…what’s that? LOL

Afrobella’s Top List For Summer

“Right now for my nails I am LOVING Milani’s metal collection – less than $5 a bottle at the drugstore and the colors rival anything you’d see by a pricey department store brand. I also love China Glaze, and whenever I go to Sally Beauty it’s hard to drag me away from their display!

“For fashion items on sale I’ve become something of an eBay junkie, I have a lengthy watch list. I don’t always buy, but knowing I can do a search for butterscotch colored Bakelite earrings and find more than three pages of them to search through…that’s my kinda shopping!” – Afrobella

Check out Afrobella’s new radio show here!

Gorgeous In Bed

admin — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 22:35:55 +0000

Weekly tips from the book “Eat, Drink and Be Gorgeous.”

Did you know the right combinations of food and nutrients can make your sex life better? It’s true. By eating healthy, taking the right supplements, and taking care of your digestion…you can increase your endurance, satisfaction and most importantly you can perform at your best!

Most of us don’t realize that what we take in affects how we put out. Here are some tips on what to eat before the big night and what’s best to eat for general sexual well being.

Protein Power

Of all of the food groups, protein does the best job of keeping your blood sugar leveled. It gives you staying power and will keep you cooking all night long. A big bowl of pasta however could put you right to sleep, while a salad may not be enough to fill you up. So while out on that hot date, it’s best to order something that has the right combination of protein, fat and complex carbs to stabilize your blood sugar for hours to come.

Digestive Do’s

Poor digestion can seriously detract from the quality of your love life. A healthy digestive tract is the foundation for good health. It has a domino effect on your organs and systems. The best way to keep your system running is with a high fiber diet. This keeps you from getting backed up and becoming a gassy lassie. Because let’s face it: nobody wants to let one rip while in the midst of an intimate moment. Stomach churning bloating, gas and diarrhea – not a turn on!

Take this test: Eat a cup of cooked beets. Keep an eye on your bowel movements until you find the one that is dark pink (from the beets) from there you’ll be able to determine how long it took to get from point A to point B. Ideally this amount of time will be no more than twenty four hours. If you find that it takes more than 24 hours, get more fiber in your diet pronto.

Good sources of fiber:

Freshly ground flaxseeds (3 tablespoons provide 8 grams of fiber)
Dark green leafy vegetables
Fresh fruits
Beans and lentils
Steel cut oats
Buckwheat and barley

Supplements

These natural solutions can boost a low sex drive, produce essential hormones, direct blood to your sex organs, soften your skin and bolster your immune system to help discourage STD’s (NOTE:Not a replacement for condoms and other contraceptives.)

B Vitamins: Critical to the development of brain messengers, monitors your body’s balance between estrogen and progesterone and reduces excess estrogen. One hundred milligrams of B6 per day will support hormonal balance and curtail those nasty mood swings.

Bioflavonoids: These play an important role in keeping blood vessels fexible and the uterus healthy, which is significant for women who have abnormal uterine bleeding. They also improve circulation to enhance intimate potential. These vitamin like substances are found in a wide variety of plants, especially grapes and pine tree bark.

Essential Fatty Acids: These are the building blocks for the production of female sex hormones. They also help your body store more of the fat-soluble vitamins like A, E, D and K that keep you sexually active. Borage, primose, flaxseed and fish oils are available primarily in capsule form. Fresh flaxseeds and wild Alaskan salmon are also excellent sources of EFAs.

Vitamin E: This vitamin plays an important role in reproductive health. Found in foods such as olive oil, seeds and nuts and organic butter, vitamin E can alleviate sexual problems like impotence and low sex drive. This powerful antioxidant protects your sex glands from the stress generated by free radicals. Free radicals are like loose cannons that can damage proteins, DNA and the lipids inside of the cells.

Zinc: The human sense of smell, which depends on the mineral zinc, is an often overlooked element of primal passion. Pheromones in this case, the individual biological scent your body produces can drive your lover wild! They’re detected subconsciously but are a key element in sexual excitment. To tune in to your lover’s pheromones, it’s critical to make sure you’re getting enough zinc-rich foods in your diet. Sources include oysters and other shellfish, turkey, mushrooms, and seeds like sesame, sunflower, poppy and pumpkin. Also try sprouts such as sunflower and alfalfa.

There you have it, the best supplements for your sexual health! Also remember, a balanced diet and regular exercise are always winners.

NEXT WEEK: GORGEOUS SUPPLEMENTS

Lose It!

admin — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 05:30:01 +0000

By: NewNaturalista

24 year old Charnika is on a mission. Lose 60 pounds in 160 days – and she’s determined to get others to join her! The Detroiter has taken to YouTube with her creative videos on motivation – her latest work is an ode to her determination and she hopes a source of inspiration to others trying to shed those extra pounds.

NewNaturalista: What inspired you to produce the video?

Charnika: This video is apart of my “Motivation series” on YouTube. The first one I produced received a lot of praise and comments, but honestly I wasn’t expecting that. I made the video because of how I was feeling at the time; just tired. I needed an extra boost to force myself to workout and the message was, you have to get that boost from yourself!

I was a scrawny little kid until I hit puberty, and then everything changed. I went from a size small to x-large in less than a year. As my hips and breast size grew, so did the harassing comments from my male peers. And unfortunately it didn’t stop there. My family members would tease me as well; it was unbearable! Soon after I became depressed and stopped eating and eventually became anorexic. No one tried to intervene until my sister, who came home one summer from college, begged my mom to get me some professional help, but she didn’t think I had a problem. She felt as though it was a phase I was going through, even when I told her I hadn’t had a menstrual cycle in 6 months. My eating habits changed for the better nearly three years later.

NewNaturalista: Tell us the purpose of the contest/challenge?

Charnika: The purpose of 160 Days 2 Lose is to lose 60 pounds and cut off the relaxed ends of my hair so I can be completely natural in 160 days. I don’t know if I’ll actually lose all of the weight I set out to in the beginning, but I made my appointment for my Big Chop for August 7! And if I don’t lose all of the weight, I won’t stop just because the challenge is over! When I set a goal for myself, I am determined to meet it, regardless of what day it is.

My ultimate goal is to be the healthiest person I can be. I would love to have a healthy BMI and prefer salads to pizza on a regular basis, instead of only wanting it when trying to lose weight. I don’t have any health concerns at this time, but health problems run in my family. My mother suffers from diabetes, kidney disease and hypertension. And earlier last year my father was forced to undergo dialysis due to kidney failure three days a week. Seeing him deteriorate right before my very eyes was painful, but also a wakeup call for me. I knew I needed to get in shape and change my habits now so by the time I’m their age, it won’t be a challenge and concern.

NewNaturalista: The video really illustrates the battles we all face with ourselves – much like the devil on one side and the angel on the other — is that your biggest battle?

Charnika: The biggest battle I face is time management! I constantly take on too much that I can bare and then get stressed out. That’s where the real problem lies. As it shows in the video, one part of me wants to take time and relax (which is honestly what my body needs) and other knows I have to get in tiptop shape in order to meet the ultimate goal! It’s a constant battle, but lately the fighter in me is succeeding. I haven’t missed a workout in almost two weeks and began doing protective styles in my hair. It’s going really great. I’m really excited to do my weigh-in on July 15 (the start of the 30-day countdown). I might not be where I “should be,” but I will get there eventually.

Click here for more on Charnika’s motivation series!

VIDEO: A Visit To The Herbalist

admin — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 15:28:14 +0000

By: NewNaturalista

The Herbalist Tierney Salter talks about the benefits of using herbs to detox, grow hair and beautify your skin!

HERBAL HAIR OIL CONTEST

Enter to win a 4 oz. bottle of The Herbalist’s popular Herbal Hair Oil – a $17.50 value! This wonderful oil contains rosemary, french lavender, tea tree, bay, sage and several organic botanical extracts. Just send us a photo of your favorite summer hairstyle to tonya@newnaturalista.com - or leave below!

Confessions Of A Coffee Addict

admin — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 18:12:21 +0000

By: NewNaturalista

The ritual, the smell, the taste – I am completely and absolutely addicted to coffee. The moment my feet hit the ground, I’m off to the coffee machine, grinding up those beans, the aroma waking up my senses, preparing me for the day.

The problem is I’m not only addicted to coffee, I’m addicted to those comforting feelings I experience when holding a cup of joe. It’s like zen in a cup. Seattle aids effortlessly in this addiction, providing a place to get my fix at every corner and I happily oblige.

I find myself trying to recreate those warm feelings of the morning – so by 6 o’clock I’ve downed my morning cup plus two triple tall Americano’s – the equivalent of 6-8 cups of coffee!

Holding my bag o' crack...

My new friend Tierney Salter, the owner of The Herbalist here in Seattle says it’s ok to have that morning cup, but throughout the day we should find a replacement.”It can leach calcium and other vitamins from your bones,” says Tierney. She suggested I indulge in the morning, finding a quality organic brew – so during my recent trip to Toronto, I purchased some organic french roast beans from The House of Spice. Good stuff!

Tierney also suggests throughout the day I replace coffee with tea – specifically quality green tea. Surprisingly it’s been an effortless transition, I can still visit my favorite coffee shops I just order up tea. This shift fulfills my need to hold something warm and soothing in my hands – it also feels “clean,” refreshing even.

Coffee is not bad, however – but just like everything – it’s great in moderation.

Coffee Benefits

Drinking coffee may lower the risk of stroke by 19 percent among women. That’s according to a 2009 Harvard Medical School study that tracked the coffee habits.
Neuroscientists at the University of Lisbon found that drinking coffee can help to prevent the neural degeneration associated with brain disorders and aging.
According to the Iowa Women’s Health Study, coffee is good for the cardiovascular system, those who drink it on a regular basis reduced their risk of cardiovascular disease by 24 percent.

Coffee Concerns

A typical cup of coffee contains about 10 milligrams carcinogens, such as benzene and formaldehyde, according Joe Schwarcz, author of “The Fly in the Ointment: 70 Fascinating Commentaries on the Science of Everyday Life.” Other experts argue that the amounts are too small to pose a serious cancer ris.
Coffee contains caffeine (a big lure for most) and drinking too much of it can cause headaches and jitters.
The safe daily dosage of caffeine is 300 milligrams for adults and 35 to 40 milligrams a day for children, according to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services (HHS).

Benefits of Green Tea

According to Dr. Mehmet Oz:

Green tea provides a gentle energy boost while supporting focus and concentration. Though it only has one-third the caffeine of coffee, green tea has other natural chemicals that provide a more even energy boost, without the more dramatic ups and downs often associated with caffeine.
White tea is from the same plant as green tea, but it’s produced in a different way. While green tea is made of leaves dried to the point where the tea will be dark in color, white tea is made from an immature plant bud that isn’t dried at all. Instead of steeping the leaves, white tea is steamed. Dr. Oz says the potential for medicinal benefits of white tea—beyond a very small amount of caffeine as compared with other kinds of tea and coffee—comes from this lack of drying.
Because of this minimal processing, green tea has some of the highest content of polyphenols,which are beneficial chemicals with extremely potent antioxident properties.
Dr. Oz says that in order to get the many benefits of green tea, you should drink about four cups a day. But don’t drink it with milk, the casein in milk has been shown to inhibit the beneficial effects of tea.

Sources: U.S Department of Health & Human Services, University of Lisbon, “The Fly in The Ointment:70 Fascinating Commentaries on the Science of Everyday Life”, Iowa Women’s Health Study

Pregnant at 40: Good News, Bad News

admin — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 14:23:58 +0000

By: Shon Gables

This week, I did just about everything to free my mind of worry. My baby is breech. I didn’t want to undergo what I’ve been told is a painful turning procedure. My spouse doesn’t want to find out the baby’s gender early, and I just learned my own Mother has been diagnosed with Leukemia.

Ugggh, what a week. It’s sparked all kinds of crazy dreams: My oldest son beating up T.I. A stranger with a head full of dreads letting me take them out. Truly, none of it made sense, so I’ll spare you the rest!

Eventually, to find peace, I took advice from a new friend, an old friend, and my husband.

My new friend insisted I read The Alchemist. I found that Paolo Coelho’s 1988 novel immediately forced me to focus and removed all negative and idle self-talk. Words from the book that struck a chord with me:

“When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you succeed.”

An old friend reminded me of the value of true friendship. With no strings attached, “true blue” jumped in and starting helping. I was behind on a project and he took over—sparing my professional reputation. Thank goodness he helped. And more importantly, I accepted. I hereby relinquish the “superwoman” title. If I need help—I now ask for it. There’s nothing weak about that!

And finally…

My husband runs a wellness company that consistently looks to find products that help people feel better and live longer. So he spent a great amount of time putting together a plan that would help turn our baby—included physical exercises we did on all fours that embarassingly resembles rocking like a dog – and

I agreed to wear a bioantenna band that allegedly altered the way my body interacted with my electromagnetic environment. In layman’s terms, the band pulls your body into balance by altering your electrons.

And to our suprise: our latest doctor’s appointment revealed some great news.

For starters: our little tot flipped! Thank God she’s no longer breech. My chances for a normal delivery have greatly increased. And check out her toes wiggling.

Secondly, because I agreed to try his new technology, my hubby agreed to using the “old-school” sonogram—and the test revealed that we’re having a little girl. Pink! Pink! Pink! Finally!!!!

Lastly, but most importantly, I have rediscovered the fact that God is not “out to get me.” God desperately wants to put us all in the position to be blessed. That thought has helped to ease my personal challenges with my health and even my Mom’s heath. Even the bad news is working out for our good. And we’ll get through this—as a family.

Rae Lewis-Thornton: “We’ve got to make AIDS an honest discussion”

admin — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 21:54:30 +0000

By: NewNaturalista

Rae Lewis-Thornton recently celebrated her 48th birthday. It is a milestone she never thought she’d reach.

“When I first started speaking I would say to the middle school students, ‘By the time you graduate from high school I’ll be dead.’ There was a period when I was staring death in the face.”

Rae is a self proclaimed phenomenon. For the last 25 years, she’s lived with HIV – and now AIDS. She’s been on this earth with the disease longer than without. “The life expectancy is 3 years for AIDS so I have perspective, I understand that life and death is not a matter of man but of God,” says Rae. “It’s a miracle with work. I could have stopped taking my medicine at any point. I’m glad I have the fight, but I’m glad technology has advanced too.”

Over the last decade Rae has graced the stages of hundreds of school panels and symposiums. Hearing her speak is a life changing experience. She can rattle off painfully true statistics. Every 9 1/2 minutes someone is infected with HIV – AIDS is the number 1 killer of Black women between the ages of 25-44 – 1 in 2 black gay men is HIV positive. But as she shares these numbers with me, I also wonder…just how many lives have been saved by her message?

I could be counted as at least one life saved. I first read about Rae in December of 1994 – her story came in the mail, on the cover of my Essence magazine. It stopped me cold.

Essence 1994

There she was – her fists clinched, her beautiful face overshadowed by a reality that felt so raw, so unbelievably unfair. “I’m young. I’m educated. I’m drug-free, and I’m dying of AIDS.”

Rae says Essence offered her the cover story after hearing her speak an awards ceremony. “I was at this black tie event, all the men were hitting on me and dancing with me and then sometime during the night I was called up to receive the award,” she remembers. “And you know how people don’t really hear what is going on, on stage? Like they understood I was getting an award, they heard I was talking about AIDS but they didn’t really hear that I had AIDS. So I got up there and said ‘Not only do I speak about AIDS, I have full blown AIDS.’ You could hear a pin drop.” As she walked off the stage, she remembers Susan Taylor (former Essence editor-in-chief) walking up to her and saying “Rae, I believe you have a story to tell and I’d like to tell it.’” This issue is still one of the highest selling editions for the magazine.

A year after that cover story Rae spoke at my college, the University of Missouri-Columbia. I remember sitting there with a crushing feeling in the pit of my stomach. I vividly remember her saying, “In 5 years each and every one of you will know someone with AIDS.” I left there afraid, I had never been more afraid in my life. From that moment on, condoms were not negotiable. And sadly her premonition came to fruition. Two of my cousins and a close friend are now counted in the millions who have died of AIDS.

And 16 years after Rae’s story made national news, she says we still don’t know very much about the disease.

“People are curious to learn about the intimate details of my life but their attitudes have not changed. We know the sound bites, ‘Everyone can get AIDS. Use a condom, Go get tested. But we really don’t know about AIDS/HIV,” says Rae in a hurried but powerful voice. I later learn during our conversation she is tethered to her couch by an IV drip of medicine, a true example of the life of a person managing AIDS. ”We don’t know that there are over 30 HIV medications, and that there are different classes of HIV and that you can get re infected with a new strain,” says Rae. She then pauses and slows down and I know this part she wants me to get. “And most importantly,” she says, “We still believe the stereotypes. This is why I continue to be a phenomenon.”

Rae falls into that Magic Johnson category. She looks good, speaks well and has lived well past the average lifespan of someone with the disease. She says, the uneducated marvel at this, and that is part of the problem. “People say how can you look that good? Asking that question means you have an unrealistic view of what HIV/AIDS looks like.”

“To keep it real,” she continues “White folks have moved on, while black folks are in denial about HIV.” As Rae speaks I rush to keep up with her words. I feellike I’m chronicling something bigger than me. Her life, her story is tragic but so inspiring because it can bring about real change. I listen intently at the words she speaks about the state of black America and I feel like I did when I first heard her 15 years ago. “Family members are dying and only one or two family members even know what they died of,” says Rae. “If you have a friend or wife or a husband that has HIV or died of AIDS and you don’t want nobody to know, you are perpetuating a vicious cycle.”

Way back in 86, when Rae found out she was HIV positive, she called all of her ex-boyfriends to let them know. She says it was the first and best step in stopping the cycle of infecting our community. “I think that honestly black folk’s issues of denial about AIDS, sexual abuse and the plight of the black male is connected to slavery. Since then we have been fighting to prove that we are moral people. We think, if we can show you that we have a value system and standards that you will accept us in this society. We have been taught to protect our image to the point that it is killing us. The denial is killing us.”

This brings our conversation to the issue of the “down low” black male, a topic Rae says she gets tired of talking about. “If the CDC is correct and 1 in 2 black gay men has HIV and all we can say is homosexuality is a sin and men on the downlow need to be burned at the stake, then how are we getting anywhere?” She compares it to teaching abstinence to teenagers, when it is clear through teen pregnancy and disease that many of them are having sex anyway. “Maybe we should be looking at why are men on the down low? Maybe the discussion should be how to we make an environment where they can be who they are and in turn learn why this is happening.”

There is a 2 in 1 chance that a man will infect a woman with HIV and 20 in 1 chance that a woman will infect a man. “The first thing we need to do is to insist our partners use a condom no matter how much we love them. We need to get tested. The earlier you know your HIV status the longer you can prolong your life,” says Rae. “We’ve got to use all of our resources to tackle the issue every way we can, whether it’s in our churches, pastor programs, our children, blogs. We’ve got to make this discussion an acceptable discussion, we have to make it an honest discussion. We have not made it an honest discussion.”

I had promised Rae this conversation would only last about 30 minutes – instead we talked for over an hour. I hung up the phone and felt that same crushing feeling in the pit of stomach, the one I’d felt the first time I’d met her. I remember leaving the auditorium back then mourning the thought of her leaving this earth. Today I feel the same way – but I also feel that is is unfair to Rae that we all sit back and let her do all the work.

As Oprah would say “We are only as sick as our secrets.”
Get tested. Teach. Reach Out. Use Protection.

RIP Ellis, Anita and Rahan

Check out Rae Lewis Thornton’s blog: raelewisthornton.com