Happy Girl Hair

By: NewNaturalista

It’s our morning ritual of love.

I’m awakened by the pitter patter of my 3 year old daughter’s feet, her hand on my cheek, her little voice saying “It’s time to wake up mommy.”

I love this time with her – especially when we sit down to do her hair. The act of grooming just seems special. She tells me how she wants to wear it and I try my best. She heads out to school with her daddy smiling, and I feel satisfied.

I get those same feelings when I visit Happy Girl Hair, a blog developed by Katie, a Portland mom of six year old twins. Katie is white and her children are black – she learned early on the connection between well groomed hair and self esteem, especially when it comes to little black girls. Katie’s dedication to getting her daughters’ hair right is endearing, inspiring and useful to every mom!

happygirlhair.com

NewNaturalista: When you were going through the process of adopting girls from Ethiopia did the idea of hair care ever cross your mind?

Happy Girl Hair: I did think about hair care a lot, but all that thought didn’t add up to much knowledge. I went out and bought a bunch of questionable products, a few hair accessories, and a pick. As it turned out, I didn’t have to do too much hair care for the first few months because both girls had their heads shaved prior to my arrival in Ethiopia. That’s really common in an orphanage setting; it’s done to help control lice infestations and the spread of ringworm. Little R had a couple months growth and Little B had just a tiny bit of hair just starting to come in. Had either had a full head of hair, I would have been woefully unprepared.

NewNaturalista: How did the idea for the website come about?

Happy Girl Hair: As I figured out how to care for my girls’ very different curls and coils, I started noticing that other moms were struggling and didn’t know exactly where to turn. By that time, I had spent a long time reading up on natural hair, experimenting with products and styles, and finding firm ground on which to stand. I wanted to share what I learned in an accessible way. At the time, there weren’t many resources specifically for natural hair care for children and the one book that many of us looked to for basics had just gone out of print.

NewNaturalista: What has been the response to the site?

Happy Girl Hair: The response has been overwhelmingly positive. I make mistakes all the time and I share them as learning experiences and cautionary tales. I think Happy Girl Hair readers form a strong community that shares a unique bond and we can add more voices to the conversation without losing our sense of purpose and common goals. I feel privileged to share this journey with so many interesting and talented women – and their beautiful kids.

NewNaturalista: Has your experience changed your thoughts/ideas about the

Happy Hairstyle!

importance of hair?

Happy Girl Hair: My feelings on hair are constantly evolving. I think I speak for many white adoptive moms of black daughters when I say that we fervently don’t want to screw up our daughters’ hair. Many of us try very hard to be as aware of the cultural importance of hair as possible and to live up to the high expectations we set for ourselves.

As I’ve gained more experience and simply become more comfortable as Little B and Little R’s mom, I’ve felt that pressure abate. I want my girls to look great and have hair that is in fabulous condition, but I’ve learned that kids will be kids. I can spend a long time on a style, but if they throw a blanket over their heads two seconds after I finish, there isn’t much use in crying over it. I’ve learned what my girls’ hair needs to be healthy, I try to create some interesting styles, and I relax about the rest. What is inside their heads is far more important than what is on top of them.

Happy Hairstyle

NewNaturalista: What do you hope your girls will learn from your journey in caring for their hair?

Happy Girl Hair: I hope my girls learn to love and embrace their hair, and to care for it well. They are already showing an interest in hair care and styling. I know that once they are in middle school things may change. I’m bracing for it and trying to make sure they have a good foundation of pride and self-confidence to see them through.

NewNaturalista: What advice do you have for moms who adopt children of different cultures or moms in general who struggle with their children’s hair?

Happy Girl Hair: I could give all kinds of practical advice and hands-on techniques, but I think the most useful thing to hear is that no matter what advice received, all decisions about your child’s hair care are are our own to make.

I see lots of moms who feel they have to take any and all advice offered. None of us live other aspect of our lives that way, why should it be different for hair? As with all other parenting decisions, we can use our ability to research the options and make informed decisions that work best for us and our children – no matter what anyone else tells us to do.

Check out Katie’s blog @ happygirlhair.com